Drawing from the deepest well

I began “The Artist’s Way” on the feast day of St. Paisios, July twelfth in the year of our Lord, 7532.

I have done “The Artist’s Way” before, back when I was twenty living at comedy open mics and taping legal pages to my wall, with post-it and notecards, which made look like a detective tracking a killer or the killer themselves, depending on the day and my temperament.

While I started “The Artist’s Way” nine years ago to get in the habit of writing to help my stand-up, this time I am motivated by my Chrismation into the Orthodox Church. I seek to cultivate I seek to cultivate the indwelling Holy Spirit, to become fully realized and seen by myself in God’s light. This understanding of “The Artist’s Way” is richer and more spiritual than when I initially did it, back when my heart was filled with noose humor and my lungs with tar.

For months now, I have been creatively blocked. Perhaps I exhausted all my resources during Lent, second Lent, or that last term paper at community college. Maybe I was never very interesting to begin with and everything I have written before has been some creative fluke.

Despite this thinking, or maybe fueled by it, I am revisiting “The Artist’s Way” which feels like a lawyer taking an improv class. However, I remember how much it helped me back when I was twenty getting out of my head and onto the page. Plus, I never gave up the morning pages.

They are as essential to my day as coffee and prayer.   

Yes, it is silly, it is chalk full of granola, and the New Age spiritual stuff is like Occidental Daoism lite, served with a mushroom latte at an experimental folk-jazz fusion meet-up.

And that’s OK.

It is good to be open to new experiences like that, plus the mushroom coffee is sort of the bomb. So, in the spirit of being open to uhh… well, the Spirit, I decided to work with God rather than against Him by going out and getting a copy of the Artist’s Way and doing it, again (“The Artist’s Way” is the third book I have bought multiple times, behind the Bible and the Dao De Ching), and the next day I went to a used bookstore where, there it was, on display in the religious section.

Only two copies left. Or maybe just two copies at all.

The deep calls upon deep (Psalm 41:8).

It is very important for us to recognize that creation is a divine act, and it is precisely because God is a Creator and, because I understand God as an Orthodox Christian, we are made in the image of the Creator. Therefore, by aligning our will with His energies of His unfathomable and unknowable essence work through us and, among other things, can be channeled into a creative work. We are not alone in the creative process; we are attuning ourselves to God by and through the creative act.

We all want to do something creative and for different reasons we—most of us—have blocks that keep us from bursting into this dark and fallen world bearing the torch of our inner world and connection to divinity.  This is precisely what “The Artist’s Way” helps us to dismantle.  

“Most of the time when we are blocked in an area of our life, it is because we feel safer that way. We may not be happy, but at least we know what we are—unhappy. Much fear of our own creativity is the fear of the unknown.

“If I am fully creative, what will it mean? What will happen to me and to others? We have some pretty awful notions about what ‘could’ happen. So, rather than find out, we decide to stay blocked. This is seldom a conscious decision. It is more often an unconscious response to internalized negative beliefs” (Cameron, Artist’s Way 30).

Sin lives in the body, it is stored there, and sin is what keeps us from connecting to God, our neighbor, and ourselves. We did not put sin into us; many of our obstacles and internalized negative beliefs have been planted there by (generally) well-meaning people in our lives and sometimes maliciously.

These internalized negative beliefs, sin that lives in us, is not our fault that it is in us, but it is our responsibility to begin processing it and moving past it.

Art in this way is kind of like immersion therapy and exorcism combined.

We all have different abilities, talents, and artistic inclinations. We are not cookie-cutter people made in the image and likeness of God to produce assembly-line level art. We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 138:14). It is our responsibility because, just like no one can carry our cross for us, no one can create like we can.

You were taught to put away the old self which belongs to your former way of life. You were taught to put on the new self who, in the likeness of God, has been created in righteousness and holiness of truth. We no longer walk with the Gentiles, darkened in understanding, but renewed by the Spirit of Truth in the light of Christ, crucifying the old self grown corrupt by the things of this world, confronting Truth, Who is Christ, and becoming it. Being inspired by His Way and becoming inspiration by drawing nearer to the Author of Creation, the Cosmic Sower.

He Who is Eternity.

When St. Paul writes to those who used to steal to work with their hands to produce good for those who have need, we can see this is a creative act, to see our talents being squandered by the refusal to put them to work, like in the parable of the talents.

When we stifle the gifts of God out of either self-righteousness, vainglory, false humility (which is pride), or fear we are stealing from God and the world. This is a rejection of eternity, this is grieving the Holy Spirit and putting a bushel basket over our lamp.

That is an unmerciful act.

Therefore, it is an act of mercy and synergy to work out our talent and share it, slowly shaping it in terms of quality by attacking with quantity, “for the kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force” (Matthew 11:12). Repetition is the key to change, so creating what is poor in quality is merely, and necessarily, the first step in opening oneself up to better by God’s grace and our own diligence.

“Blessed are the poor in Spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3).

St. Paul continues writing to not let decadence flow from our lips, that is unrestrained gratification, for that is pride within us. That is worldly and will lead to ruin because that is how we judge others and, too critically, we judge ourselves. We judge ourselves to the point where we bury our talent, God-given, rather than building up our inner (artist) child, who we need to become to enter the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:3).

This is having a renewed mind, seeing ourselves and others as children of God, who have a true gift that is meant to be shared with the world, so that God’s kingdom might touch what is darkened and bring it to the light.

The creative act is our responsibility, because we all have an ability that is meant to be shared with the Body of Christ, with the very world itself, and to allow unrestrained gratification drip from our tongue is to allow the pride of life to seep into the world, to cause an artist to hang up their smock, a musician to put down the guitar, a writer to start being a critic. It is walking with the Gentiles, darkened in understanding.

Speak truth to each other, constructive criticism rather than speech that comes from jealous, resentful, and blocked hearts. Rather, the speech that allows the grace of God to reach those who have ears to hear it. The artistic and creative process is a practice of getting out of the way so art can be done, getting out of our own way, getting out of the way of God’s grace.

Much is the same when speaking with others, whether it is about artistic endeavors or their own walking the spiritual path. It is easy for pride to enter into the world via our own decadent speech, but the practice of living is becoming open to God with us, and in us. 

Therefore, let all bitterness, wrath, anger, shouting, and slander be put away from you, along with evil thoughts. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God also forgave us in Christ.

And allowing that which does not serve His kingdom to fall away from us, with love, compassion, patience, forgiveness, and a soft heart becoming open to communion with God through walking in the light with Him, creating and He Himself creating through us.

This is living truth.

This is life itself.

Blessed be the poor in spirit for theirs is creation in its fullness.

Ο ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ ΕΝ ΤΩ ΜΕΣΩ ΗΜΩΝ! ΚΑΙ ΗΝ ΚΑΙ ΕΣΤΙ ΚΑΙ ΕΣΤΑΙ