there just ain’t no other Way

“‘Why do you call me “Lord, Lord’, and do not do what I tell you? I will show you what someone is like who comes to me, hears my words, and acts on them. 

That one is like a man building a house, who dug deeply and laid the foundation on rock; when a flood arose, the river burst against that house but could not shake it, because it had been well built. 

But the one who hears and does not act is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the river burst against it, immediately it fell, and great was the ruin of that house.’” 

An update:

In my discernment group I have felt this urge, this compulsion, this unshakeable call to seek out a monastic path…

A small personal detail, I remember being a monk was my childhood want–I was at a Waffle House with my mom when I told her, around the age of six, that I wanted to become a monk. Everything about it was enticing, and was awe-inspiring. 

I was told Catholics aren’t Christian. Catholics go to hell.

So I became neither and created my own hell to walk with.

Funny how things work out.

Regardless, this discernment began looking into the priesthood and now, as unworthy as I am for either vocation, I am interested in devoting my life to the church in mind, body, and soul. My hope is that this is not seen as pride divulging these details about my discernment, but maybe it’s helpful to some. Honestly, I’m shooting from the hip looking for other pilgrims on this journey who may be where I am and might want to chat.  

This call to monasticism has been shoved down at pretty much every significant part of my life for booze, depression, or fear, now… sober and willing to answer His call, I risk nothing except everything if I don’t see if a monastery would consider me a right fit. Plus, the call has brought about enough synergia that it would be a disservice to not look into it. I am trying to plan a week where I go visit a monastery here in the beautiful slice of desert I call home.

I am also inquiring into Orthodoxy, again, with a renewed spirit.

The verse living in me: “Now large crowds were travelling with him; and he turned and said to them, ‘Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. 

For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’ 

Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? If he cannot, then, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace. 

So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.

‘Salt is good; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure heap; they throw it away. Let anyone with ears to hear listen!’”

The large crowds gathering with Jesus is a great image impressed in our minds. We have this group who are following Him, listening to what He says, watching Him heal the sick and perform miracles. It must have, of course, been pretty easy to call oneself a follower of the Man that does such good works, but here Jesus Christ reminds us of the narrow door by which we might follow Him,

“Strive to enter by the narrow door; for many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able. When once the householder has risen up and shut the door, you will knock at the door saying, ‘Lord open to us.’ He will answer you, ‘I do not know where you come from.’”

This reflects God closing the door of the ark—not Noah. It is God that closes the door. It is why we must always be vigilant, guarding against the passions, guarding against the temptations of the evil one, because there are two worlds: the Kingdom and the world. We, during our earthly incarnation, have a choice whether we are walking with the Kingdom or the world. 

One is life and the other is a place where “you will weep and gnash your teeth.”  

God closing the door is merciful. We have every moment in our lives to choose God–to choose repentance and walk with the kingdom. Until those doors are shut we will struggle, but God helps us to struggle. 

The large crowd is illustrating those of us looking for an easy way out of this life—the path of Western, Americanized Christianity where one becomes baptized and assumes their cross can be dropped, tagging the ark as if it were base, yelling, “Safe!”

They use their cross to drop it on those below them. They are those of us who practice a weak faith. They share an experience of God that is based on fear and self-righteousness.

And then there are those in the crowd who hear what Jesus is saying.

And, as a reminder to myself—both perspectives mentioned above are fully in my possession to express. It is up to me to choose the strength of the faith I walk with.

There is no me if there is no Christ. There is no world without Christ. 

“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth,” 

The meek here are those of us who take the initial verse of this piece to heart—there is a dependence on God in all we do; it is a strong faith to acknowledge our weakness, to acknowledge our sinfulness in order to overcome the passions. 

There is a weakness in humbling ourselves to live in egotism: this is where we acknowledge our sin in order to create our own stumbling block which can be heard in the prideful words, “My sin is so bad I will never be forgiven.” 

No. 

No sin is greater than God’s grace. We may, each of us, be prolific sinners, but we’re never greater than God.

The meek understand this. The meek humble themselves to God’s providence and cultivate a relationship with Him, and they consider the great cost of following The Way. It is the meek that accept God is in control of the door.

It is the proud that think they can have it all—and we are all prideful at times. We want our cake and to eat it, too. We want to follow The Way without giving up anything that attaches us to the world. We want to follow after Christ with suitcases on camels, shoving them all through the eye of the needle. 

All our band t-shirts, sports jerseys, and voter cards. 

They are as dust. 

What matters in this life? Christ, the Truth, is not a cult leader. He’s not tricking us to leave our family and our lives to join Him on an all-inclusive retreat where He will instruct us on the secrets of His religion. 

Jesus Christ did not come to start a religion. Christianity is not a religion. 

Christianity is The Way.